Wellness and caring for our health is an act of self-love and for some, this requires a shift in perspective.  In our society, putting oneself first is often frowned upon.  It is considered selfish, which has negative connotations.  In reality, how can we go out into the world to be the best we can be and do the best we can do without putting ourselves first?

Part of being the best we can be is by doing what we can to support ourselves.  While many outside factors contribute to wellness, we can reinforce our inner strength by making choices that support our wellness, so that in turn, we can be available not just for ourselves but for others too.  One of my favorite analogies on this topic is the oxygen mask used in the case of an emergency on an airplane.  In order to care for others, we must be able to breathe, to care for our own basic needs.  When the oxygen mask is fastened and we are breathing, we can then help others.  One of the best parts of being on the Saje team is that I am encouraged to care for my wellness.

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Do you believe in Valentine’s Day?

This is a question I’ve heard many times before, have always known my answer but never known why.  Yes, I always say, and last night I realized why…

Whilst twisted up in my least favourite yoga pose, our teacher told us to smile and open our hearts.  Easy for you to say, I wanted to retort.  Then she continued.  What she said was very simple and shut my ego up right away. “If we’re not here to give love and receive love, what are we doing?” Well that’s the best question I’ve been asked in a long time, and that question turned into my reason for believing very wholeheartedly in Valentine’s Day.

“It’s a event that Hallmark made up!” or “men should be nice to women every day of the year!”  These are the two common phrases that I hear in the “down with Valentine’s Day” argument.  Are they valid? Absolutely!  Both of those statements are true.  But I say, so what?  Why not use today as a reminder or excuse to give extra love?  I’ve never seen someone receive a Valentine and be mad … I’ve only ever seen smiles.  Studies have shown that smiling releases endorphins, natural painkillers, and serotonin.  Together these three are a natural drug.  Well, who would say no to that?!  Certainly not me.

So I say, soak it all up.  Enjoy giving love and receiving love.

Happy Heart Day!

How to easily improve everything in your life this year…in ONE step!

The New Year arrives in a flash of optimism and a renewed commitment to my best health.  Suddenly it’s February, I’m clicking “Play Next Episode” and having ice cream for dinner.  Hmm.

What happened?  Why is it so fun to break our own rules?  Why is it so tricky to make Resolutions that stick?

If we combine intentions with habit, we can transform our lives beyond recognition.  Resolutions usually come from a soul-desire to improve our lives, but we express them with thoughts and judgments that come from the mind.  Resolving to lose weight or work out more because we ‘should’ doesn’t bring success.

A weight-loss study in the Annals of Behavioral Medicine is very revealing:  Of a group of women ages 30-50, half were asked to focus on the affirmation “I am making these changes for better health.”  The others used the affirmation “I wish I had the body I did when I was 20”,  which is really a negative self-judgment, and the women in this group lost 10-20 lbs less  than the women affirming a message of self-care.

We also LOVE to break our own rules, and will often make a Resolution based on unrealistic expectations simply to sabotage ourselves.  Drastic changes to lifestyle are hard on the system in many ways, from something as basic as being sore after working out a lot after a period of inactivity, all the way to deepening depression when we set ourselves up to fail.  In a study at the University of California at Davis, people who made small, evolutionary changes to their lifestyles experienced 75% greater success than those who made dramatic changes, like completely removing sugar from their diets.  When we deny ourselves comforts (even if those comforts are not great for us), we feel deprived, and this can lead to a feast-or-famine way of thinking and feeling.

What are the top Resolutions?  Weight-loss, better fitness, greater happiness, being ‘greener’,  increased productivity, release from addictions, being kinder to others…these are all worthy goals, so let’s make it simple, and do them all at once with one easy step.  Ready?

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You are seated comfortably in a serene garden where a gentle light dapples. Inhaling the precious resins and flowers that scent the air, you achieve perfect serenity. You have found the treasure within.

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The ecstasy and agony of romantic love are perhaps the most all-consuming of any human experiences. No doubt, there have been more movie scripts written and song lyrics penned with love as the central theme than any other subject. We fantasize about finding it, agonize over losing it, obsess over keeping it and wile away countless hours engrossed in conversations with our girlfriends speculating on motives, analyzing comments and commiserating over the actions (or lack thereof!) of that one special person we’ve chosen as the recipient of our love and adoration; aww … amore.

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Recently a marketing expert informed me that our Saje customers, women, cared mo re about how good they looked than how healthy they were. That explains the diets, use of slimming pills and feet-damaging high heels.

For a moment, I felt sad.

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I explored testing the depth of wellness in my relationship in my last blog. I didn’t mention how much my wellness is impacted for better or for worse based on the degree that I’m creating goodness or consuming goodwill. Goodwill can have a such a short shelf life, perhaps a little better than a soufflé. Does anyone actually still cook soufflés anymore?

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In my last blog I brought my attention to creating versus consuming. In the wellness game, my primary relationship is just that, primary. What am I creating in that arena? Do I dare have a closer look?

Most happily married men know and live by the adage, “When she’s happy, I’m happy.” So is she? Do I dare ask? I know from coaching my clients that wives are almost never as happy as hubbies believe. Usually by a large margin. So do I just ask her?

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I laugh whenever I catch myself rushing to get to a practice dedicated to mindfulness and stillness. The phone is ringing, I can’t find my yoga mat, I call in late for my massage appointment, “I’m on my way!”

In her article The Yogic Art of Healing (Elephant Journal), Nadine McNeil wisely shares her learning that “…the ability to do absolutely nothing is the key to progression.” Losing track of this truth, we are often caught in the innate conflict between the rushed world we live in and the peaceful, natural world we wish to create. Serenity is real life, and the more time we spend there, the easier the rest of life can be. What I most often hear from people under stress is that there’s no time.

So let’s look at how we can create space for stillness in our busy world…or rather, let’s smell.

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I was reminded of the distinction last night, and what a profound moment of awareness it was. This distinction occurs in my wellness, in my relationships and in my businesses. In any given moment I’m in creative mode, full of life and vision and execution energy… or I’m consuming resources, using up cash, burning up reserves.

Both approaches are valid but if I don’t consciously plan the creative cycle into my life, my relationship (I’ll share how in my next blog) and my career, I might spend long enough on the consuming cycle to experience scarcity thoughts, experiences and beliefs. That leads to declining contributions and dullness. Bored and boring are kissing cousins, right?

How I plan for creativity is as easy as declaring the time and space and sticking to the commitment. It can be Monday mornings in the boardroom or Friday afternoon at a wine bar. For my primary relationship, Wednesday home cooked meals, Friday night Sushi/Movie dates followed by conversation that matters. And even that, after a while, will lose it’s creativity! It’s got to be fresh, new, exciting. I declare the courage to tear down what’s working and build up What Rocks. I love the saying; “Good is the enemy of Great.”

Rocking creations anyone?